When God speaks...

I am not sure why it is on my heart strongly to share this tonight, but hopefully someone will be able to take something from this.

I had no idea when I decided to marry Ben that we would have such a complicated first few years and how much God would use our marriage to help us grow closer to Him.

On June 7, 2008 we started this journey and it has definitely been a roller coaster. We had said we would wait a year before trying to get pregnant, but quickly realized that we were not as young as we pretended to be. So in November we decided to just let God decide and got pregnant the next month. We were so excited! When we went to our 8 week appointment we were sad to see that our baby had no heartbeat. We wanted to believe that we were wrong about our dates and there was still hope. We prayed that if it was right for our family that this sweet child would be healthy and alive. We were sad to see that it had only grown 2 days worth of growing in a week and still no heartbeat. It was a hard few weeks. After having a D&C and with much strength from God, we continued to try for 2 years with no luck what so ever.

During these 2 years we were praying that God would help us to find a church home where we would be able to grow spiritually and help further His kingdom. We visited a few congregations in Nashville, but just couldn't seem to find the right fit. Then Ben got an offer to move to Memphis with his company. Out of all the places I would have picked to live, Memphis probably was somewhere around 2,486. I was not very excited about moving here, but we had begun to look into domestic adoption and knew there were many more needed babies in Memphis than there were in Nashville. So our plan was to sell our house, move to Memphis and adopt a baby.

The first Sunday we were here, I had researched the closest church to us and we decided we would start there and move out from there until we found our church home. We visited Great Oaks and really enjoyed the first Sunday there. We then figured, why not keep going until we had a reason not to. We have been so blessed to meet such wonderful friends there and our relationship with God has grown more than I would have ever thought possible.

The night we met with the elders to place membership, we told them about our plans to adopt and asked them to pray about it. We also had a witness sign off on all the adoption application papers. The next morning I was ready to send off the application along with a $500 check to start the process. Before I stuck it in the mail, I decided I should probably take a pregnancy test. To my complete astonishment, I was pregnant! I had a healthy pregnancy and have a loving, sweet healthy daughter!

I write our story, because I have been thinking about how so often we want what we want right then. If we give it to God and trust that He is in control and is going to do what is best, it will always be so much better than I planned it out for myself. I never thought I would be happy in Memphis and I never thought I wouldn't have my first kid til I was 31. I am so thankful to have a husband who loves God and leads our family. I have been so blessed! Through every struggle I know that he is in control and will do far better for me than I can make happen for myself.

...I will get back up and try again

I have not done a good job at all of keeping up with this blog. I have also not been doing as well with my prayer life as I would hope. So we will try again.

Father,
I want to first thank you for your love! Thank you for being an amazing God! I pray that you will be with Ben and help him to heal quickly and please protect Danika from getting sick. Please be with him as he goes through some changes in the next few weeks. I pray that it will be best for him in his walk with You. Thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with Danika. Please help me not to take this for granted. Thanks you for the good report Caroline and Brandon got today and I pray that you will protect their little boy and help him to grow to know you and use him to bring others to You. Please be with Danika as she grows. Help her to constantly grow in her faith and when people see her, I pray they will see you and know you through her. I thank you for all the family and friends that you have put in our lives. Help us to be the example we need to be to all those around us. Thank you for sacrificing your son for my sins. I love you and thank you for the life you have given me! In Jesus name I pray.